Uber Diaries

As you all know, I have been uber driving to make up for some of my lost salary and to use my time for something more useful than watching TV Portal. ****These stories are loosely based on my riders because I believe in rider /driver confidence but some of the things are too crazy to keep to myself. 

The Visiting Mistress

Her hair was dark and her skin fair. Her eyes were tired like they’ve seen more years than her memory can tell. At the bus stop, she leans on the sign and I pull up. She opens the back right door and pushes her Vera Wang luggage inside. I greet her with a smile and she says Woo it’s hot out! Not like I’m not used to it though coming from New Mexico. 

When I began my welcome she already stops me. Oh no I’m from here I’m just visiting. Wow the city has really built up!  I’m really only back because my friend needs help moving. He got a job in New Mexico recently and I’m picking up stuff for him you know? I’m only staying the weekend because I left my dog with my neighbor and I’m not sure how much I trust her.

Ok after she said that I got a little judgey just because who leaves their dog with someone they don’t trust. My dog is my baby! But anyway back to her story: 

I’m meeting his wife. She’s living with her mom right now and really trying to get a job out there but can’t afford to move without having a job. 

But wait a minute I thought her friends job pays for housing?

His condo is literally free. Like don’t be that guy that complains about free rent you know what I mean? He doesn’t want to use his furniture stipend because he’s scared his wife will hate it. I was taking a shower and he doesn’t even have a bath mat. I mean cmon man where are your balls?

Ma’am I think you know where his balls are. 

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