Rainy Days


From the pictures I’ve posted of myself, it is clear to see that I am some type of foreign. Through looking for a home and moving, (and procrastinating) I’ve let my passports and other registrations become expired. #buzzkill. 

I live in Culpeper but these appointments and interviews and all that are usually closer to DC. Which, if you guys don’t know the area, is about 2 hours with normal traffic. And that’s me just making it. So I’m now staying in Maryland this week so I can be closer to the errands I need to run. My husband, on the other hand, stayed himself in Culpeper. Honestly, this is what I needed. Just sometime apart. Since we’ve been there, I’ve fallen into the background because he’s back with his family and living the life he was used to before we were married and I don’t like it. 

Today was my last appointment and really I could make that trek back out there tonight but I just don’t want to. I don’t know if there’s anything wrong. I don’t think there anything wrong. I definitely miss my dog. I think it’s the fact that I feel lonely?  when were together but fine when I’m by myself. I did hear that the first year of marriage is the hardest.

Speaking of which, our one year anniversary is coming up in a few weeks on 10/10. Of course no plans. What can 2 broke people even do. We could have like a picnic or something cheesy like that but who are we kidding, it’ll just be silent the whole time. Don’t get me wrong I’d love to carry on conversation but it just doesn’t happen that way. That’s really why I need this time apart. To not worry about him or why he acts the way he does with me.

I can’t forget though, I’m pregnant. If this DOES escalate, it’s going to effect more than just me. The hard part is I don’t really know how to make things better. It’s literally come to a point where I would rather be apart. 

Maybe it the area out there being so far from everything I know or if it’s constantly seeing him put his attention to other people before me. His mom said that her opinion as a mother will always out weigh mine as a wife and what did he do? Nothing. 

It may have been a joke or whatever the case. But that’s that shit. 

Ugh. I need to go back to work.